


A Messy Room, a Journal, and a Feverish Kokichi

by NARWHALTALE



Series: The Saiouma Childhood Friend Chronicles [3]
Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Alternate Universe - Non-Despair (Dangan Ronpa), Ambiguous/Open Ending, Anxious Saihara Shuichi, Bisexual Saihara Shuichi, Childhood Friends, Crushes, Diary/Journal, F/F, F/M, I'm Bad At Tagging, Is this kinda somewhat based on Boyf riends?, Kinda, Kokichi is literally sick this entire fic, Mutual Pining, Oma Kokichi Being Oma Kokichi, Parental Tojo Kirumi, Partly a kid fic I guess, Pining, Shuichi and Kokichi dance, Sonia is here at one point, do they get together?, idk - Freeform, just a little... - Freeform, sick-fic, they're very awkward
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-08
Updated: 2020-12-08
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:07:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27948038
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NARWHALTALE/pseuds/NARWHALTALE
Summary: Kokichi is sick. Kokichi is never sick... How odd. Shuichi checks up on him and cleans his room before finding something he most definitely should not have read.
Relationships: Akamatsu Kaede/Iruma Miu (mentioned literally once), Amami Rantaro & Oma Kokichi, Asahina Aoi/Saihara Shuichi (past; just mentioned), Oma Kokichi & Saihara Shuichi, Oma Kokichi/Saihara Shuichi
Series: The Saiouma Childhood Friend Chronicles [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2034895
Comments: 12
Kudos: 148





	A Messy Room, a Journal, and a Feverish Kokichi

**Author's Note:**

> DDLC reference somewhere in here, I felt pain as I wrote it.  
> Also! Sick-fic! You had to know it was coming...  
> What shall I do next in this AU? Idk yet. If you have any suggestions, I read the comments religiously.

Kokichi wasn’t in school, and Shuichi was already worrying. Kokichi never missed school. Never, unless he was either skipping (which he only did in gym), or he was really sick. 

So, Shuichi picked up his phone at the end of the day and called him. 

_“You’ve reached Kokichi Ouma’s phone! If I’m not picking up, it’s probably ‘cause I’m hanging out with Shuichi! Say hi!”_

_“Wh- no, this is your voicemail!”_

_“Say it, dingus, we’re running out of time and I don’t wanna redo this!”_

_“Fine - hi?”_

_“Ohh my god moving on, if it’s Shuichi calling, I’m probably taking over the world. Call back later or leave a message after the beep! Beeeeeeeeep!”_

_“What the hell, Kokic - “_

“Hey, Kokichi, um...I’m assuming you’re sick, so I’m going to...come to your dorm. U-Uh, see you then - oh, this is uh - Shuichi by the way - er - bye!”

Shuichi stuffed his phone in his pocket and walked to Kokichi’s dorm.

When he knocked, he was just barely able to catch an extremely raspy, “Go away…” from Kokichi. 

“K-Kokichi, are you alright? It’s um - Shuichi…” Shuichi called carefully. 

“G-Go away, Sh-Shuichi…” He heard. 

“Y-You don’t sound very good…” Shuichi said softly. Kokichi didn’t respond, so Shuichi pulled out his key. 

Kokichi had given him a key in their freshman year, saying ‘Come in at any time, nishishi! Just uh - don’t snoop.’ He assumed this didn’t count as snooping, so…

Shuichi gently opened the door.

What the hell?

_What the hell??_

Kokichi was coughing and sniffling. He never got sick.

“Koki…” Shuichi said quietly and stepped over. Kokichi just continued his coughing fit. 

Shuichi sat down on his best friend’s bed, and Kokichi shoved him weakly. “G-Get...out.” He grumbled. The taller of them frowned and simply placed his hand on Kokichi’s forehead. It came back hot. 

“You’re sick.” He stated. 

“No shit, aren’t you supposed to be a detective?” Kokichi huffed. 

Shuichi just sighed. “I’m going to get you some water and ask Kirumi to - “ 

“At your service.” Shuichi jumped back, and Kokichi just raised an eyebrow.

“A-Ah, uh - thanks…!” He waved awkwardly as Kirumi walked away.

Shuichi sighed as the room slipped into a silence. Not particularly uncomfortable, but it wasn’t exactly pleasant. 

Kokichi just stared at him, unbreaking until Shuichi was starting to squirm. “Wh-Why are you looking at me like that, Ki?” 

Kokichi just looked away. 

“‘M tired…” Kokichi finally said. 

Shuichi sighed. “Probably because you almost never sleep… How many times you sent me a text of something stupid at two am?” He gently chided. “After you’re not sick anymore, I’m going to help you with your sleep schedule,” The detective decided. 

“Shuichi, honey, Shusai, you are literally an insomniac.” Kokichi snorted, then regretted it as soon as he started coughing.

“Yes, and?” Shuichi hummed. “That doesn’t mean I can’t help. Now lay down, okay? I’m hoping Kirumi brought a - “

“Here’s your soup, water, and a thermometer. Please, feel better soon, Ouma-kun.” Kirumi gingerly set the tray on Kokichi’s dresser, bowed, and walked out, her heels clicking all the way.

Shuichi took the thermometer and motioned at Kokichi to open his mouth. Kokichi, the stubborn ass, pursed his lips. 

“Kokichi…” 

“You’re not playing my nurse! I’ll get better on my own!”

“But what if I want to play as your nurse, Ki?” Shuichi folded his arms again. 

Meanwhile, Kokichi was in a small state of gay panic. 

_Shitshitshitshitshitstopbeingsopretty -_

His lips fell slightly apart in surprise, so Shuichi took that as a chance to hold his mouth open and stuff the thermometer in. 

Kokichi went to whine, but Shuichi just pressed Kokichi’s lips between his fingertips. “Shush. Just wait a few moments so I can see if you have a fever, though I’m pretty sure that you do.” Shuichi muttered. 

Kokichi’s face went red hot, and he grew silent, quietly admiring Shuichi’s beautiful eyes as he did so. 

Just as Shuichi had said, the thermometer beeped all too soon, and Shuichi’s gorgeous, mysterious pupils were torn away so he could look at the temp. 

“Ah, you have a fever.” Shuichi nodded to himself. “Now sit up so I can feed you the soup.” 

“Chi, you don’t have to spoon feed me. I’m not on hospice. I have a fever.” 

“Ah, ah, ah, _who’s_ the professional here?” Shuichi grinned as he pulled the tray to himself. 

“Not you. You can’t get yourself to go to sleep. You burn water. How are _you_ professional?” Shuichi just chuckled lightly. 

“I feel insulted. I burnt water _one_ time - “ 

“Twice, actually,” Kokichi cut in.

“I burnt water _two_ times and now I’m a bad cook apparently.” Shuichi jutted his bottom lip out as a fake pout.

“Shuichi, you fucking burnt water. You burnt. Water. _TWICE.”_ Kokichi emphasized. “Water. You. Burnt. Water.” 

“Okay, okay!” Shuichi sputtered. “J-Just - let me take care of you for one day, okay? Please? I want to be a good friend.” The way Shuichi pleaded may or may not have made Kokichi’s stomach do a backflip. 

“...fine.” He said hoarsely. 

Shuichi smiled widely. “Okay! Now open your mouth so I can feed you.” 

…

_Dammit, Shuichi._

Kokichi opened his mouth. 

Shuichi took a spoon of soup and gently lifted it to Kokichi’s lips. Kokichi reluctantly took the soup. 

Bit by bit, spoonful by spoonful, Shuichi fed Kokichi. With each scoop of soup that went into Kokichi’s mouth, his face hit a new shade of crimson. 

“A-Ah! You - You’re turning red!” Shuichi’s voice rang out in alarm. “A-Are you okay?!”

“Totallyyyy great! Never been better! Simply wonderful!” Kokichi lied cheerfully. “Soooo, you can leave n - “ 

“Sh.” Shuichi put one of his fingers over Kokichi’s face and his other hand went over Kokichi’s forehead.

“Y-You feel warmer...You should lay down.” Shuichi mumbled worriedly. 

Kokichi frowned. “I don’t need your help, I hope you know that.” He spat. 

“Kokichi, I know exactly what tactic you’re using. It doesn’t work on me, you understand that, right? You’ve been my best friend for… What is it now, twelve years? Thirteen? I know you, Kokichi, and I care enough that I won’t be scared away by your lies. So stop trying to push me away. There’s no point. You, Ki, are my best friend, and I’m not going anywhere. Nothing is changing that, okay?” Shuichi finished. 

“...sorry, Shusai.” 

Shuichi said nothing, instead choosing to have Kokichi lay down so he could tuck him in. Kokichi bit his bottom lip, immediately overthinking each small expression that Shuichi made. 

“Rest now. It’ll make you feel better in the morning.” Shuichi said firmly. 

Kokichi, with the thought in mind that there was no getting out of it, shut his eyes. He’d planned on staying awake and just listening, but the drowsiness of sleep deprivation and his fever got the best of him, and he was soon sleeping soundly.

Shuichi smiled fondly after he was sure Kokichi was asleep and stood up to start straightening up Kokichi’s pigpen. He moved the dirty laundry into Kokichi’s hamper, straightened the small figurines, stuffed animals, and other knick-knacks Kokichi had on what he called his ‘fandom’ shelf. Shuichi also pushed in Kokichi’s drawers and moved to his desk. 

After straightening the papers and putting them into a neat pile, and placing all the pens in their holder, Shuichi noticed a small, leather book. 

_Don’t touch it, don’t touch it, you’re not snooping -_

His curiosity got the best of him.

 **_September 1st,_ ** **_~~1989~~ _ ** **_20xx_ **

**_School started today. Of course. Everyone in my class hates me already, but!!!! Shuichi’s in my class this year!!!!! This is great! Now we can talk more._ **

**_It makes things harder to hide, but I’ll manage. I always do._ **

  
  


**_September 9th, 20xx_ **

**_Cute cute cute cute cUTE -_ **

**_Gay panic lmao_ **

**_September 23rd, 20xx_ **

**_One of these days. One of these days, I’ll do it! I’ll do it! It’s not a lie! It isn’t! I’ll get to it!_ **

**_...wow. I really can’t lie to myself, can I?_ **

**_September 27th, 20xx_ **

**_I’m weak and I know it. Fucking idiot, you had one job. He’s your best friend. Nothing more. And yet you freak out every time he touches you. Weak. Love only leads to hurt. You know that._ **

**_I know that._ **

**_It’s like a drug. Even the withdrawal lines up. I want him to hug me one of these days; not one of those dumb bro hugs he does with Momo-chan. Not a stupid platonic one. A loving one. Is it a lot to ask for? Probably. Doesn’t stop the thoughts._ **

**_It’s dangerous to think this way. I know exactly why. Doesn’t stop them, though. Just because I know it’s dangerous doesn’t mean I’ll stop. It’s almost like drinking. Like I said. It’s like drugs._ **

**_I’m sorry. I’m sorry, S._ **

  
  


**_October 18th, 20xx_ **

**_I can’t STOP IT. I CAN’T STOP IT AND IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS. I CAN’T DO THIS I CAN’T I CAN’T I’M SORRY I’M SORRY I CAN’T DO THIS._ **

**_October 21st, 20xx_ **

**_We’re going as Deku and Bakugo from BNHA this year for Halloween. I’m excited! We’re going alone this year, so I won’t have to worry about Harukawa’s looks or Momo-chan’s annoying loud voice and theft of S. I won’t have to think about Kayayday or the way S looks at her._ **

**_I can just go out and get candy with him. It’ll be just like middle school. I don’t have to think about the fact that he’s straight. Big brother keeps trying to convince me to confess, but nothing good would come out of rejection._ **

**_I can’t ruin things. I can’t do it. I’m sorry Rantaro. I’m sorry S._ **

**_October 30th, 20xx_ **

**_I’m going to do it! I’m gonna do it tomorrow! No chickening out! I’ll do it when we walk by the abandoned playground. It’ll be just like when we met in Kindergarten, except we’ll be older and it’ll be more romantically...hopefully._ **

**_I have the flowers, I’ve got my weird little speech in my head. I can do it! I am going to confess to S, and nothing is going to stop me! Not killer girl, not that stupid optimistic idiot Momota, not Matsu, not weather, not my own cowardice. I won’t ruin things! If Akamatsu can get with Miu, I can push aside my own idiocy to ask S out._ **

**_No more lies. Not to S._ **

**_I can do this._ **

**_I’m asking him out._ **

**_Tomorrow. Halloween._ **

**_I won’t forget._ **

**_I won’t chicken out._ **

**_October 31st, 20xx_ **

**_I chickened out._ **

  
  


_What…?_

_Kokichi...likes someone…_

_S, huh?_

_...best friend._

_...holy shit._

_Kokichi…_

_He…_

Thinking back, Shuichi suddenly didn’t know how he didn’t discover it earlier.

Kokichi was always there. Always. It could be four am and Shuichi could stub his toe and complain about it over text and Kokichi would be there with ice and a slightly tired smile on his face. Shuichi always brushed it off as Kokichi being bored. 

Kokichi spent so much time with Shuichi, they’d been mistaken for boyfriends multiple times. They always ate lunch together, sat next to each other, walked places together, went to (very few, Shuichi’s social anxiety got the better of him most of the time) parties together, spent holidays together; they were basically family. 

Kokichi had seemed so sad the one time Shuichi got a girlfriend - a girl from a different class with endless energy and a high ponytail. (Shuichi may or may not have started dating her to a; get someone similar to Kokichi and not ruin their relationship, and b; make Kokichi jealous...It didn’t work though, he acted nothing but kind to Hina.) 

Kokichi slept at Shuichi’s dorm practically every four days, so much so that Shuichi kept a couple of Kokichi’s uniforms in his closet so he wouldn’t have to go back to his room. Shuichi had ignored that one by thinking that that was just what friends did, at least until Momota came around, and at that point he justified it as the two of them having a ‘special relationship’. After being friends that long, nothing Kokichi did really fazed Shuichi anymore. 

Kokichi would comment on how cute Shuichi looked sometimes. It was rare, perhaps once a month when Kokichi was sleep-deprived enough to really say anything (aka, his deadbeat mom asked for money or a place to stay every month, and Kokichi worked his ass off to get it to her because he was desperate for a family), but it still happened. They’d just be playing a board game and it would slip out of Kokichi’s mouth, _“You know, you’re pretty when you concentrate, Shui.”_

Kokichi didn’t harass Shuichi like he did everyone else. Teased, of course, because it was Kokichi, but he never pushed, and on the rare chance he managed to make Shuichi upset, he’d make up for it the next day. 

Once, when Shuichi was around twelve, his (and Kokichi’s) school had a dance. Shuichi was hoping to go out with a girl he liked (some kind, regal exchange student also interested in true crime), but she bailed. Nevermind-san had texted him and said that she was ‘unable to go to the dance due to something coming up’. Shuichi had just sighed despairingly and sat on the bleachers. In fact, he remembered that in full. 

_Shuichi passively dropped his phone back into his rented, blue suit pocket that he and Kokichi’d picked out the week before. Kokichi always teased him about having his phone in his front pocket, but it was just more practical in his opinion._

_He stumbled over to the bleachers and laid down in between the steps quietly, as if he’d disappear if he was out of sight._

_A while passed, it could have been a couple minutes or an hour. But he heard footsteps on the bleachers and suddenly there was someone above him._

_“Chi?”_

_“...oh… hey, Ki…” Shuichi looked up at Kokichi, adorned in a white suit and his usual scarf (a birthday gift from Shuichi when they were six), his hair done up in a purple ponytail. His heart beat just a bit faster for some reason._

_Kokichi knelt down next to Shuichi. “What happened with Nevermind?” He asked, shifting to a more comfortable sitting position._

_“Sh-She - She b-b-bailed…” Shuichi stuttered and felt his eyes well up. “Sh-She said s-s-something c-came up, and - and - “_

_“Chi… She’s here. With Kaz, for some reason.” Kazuichi Souda was one of Kokichi’s friends. Shuichi never really talked with him, but found him nice enough._

_“Sh-She i-i-is…?” Shuichi cried. Kokichi bit his bottom lip and nodded awkwardly. “O-Oh…”_

_“Chi…”_

_“I-I w-wa-wasn’t g-g-good enough…” Shuichi started crying, which seemingly made Kokichi freak out._

_“No, no, no, come on, Shusai, she wasn’t good enough for you! If she can’t see what’s right in front of her, a kind, funny, sweet boy with the same interests as her, then she’s just stupid.” Kokichi attempted to sooth, softly stroking Shuichi’s forehead in an attempt to calm him. “She’s just a - a - okay, don’t tell my dad I said this, but she’s a huge bitch!” Kokichi whisper-shouted._

_“B-But I must’ve d-d-done s-something wrong!” Shuichi wailed._

_“Shuichi, it’s not your job to appease her. Real love comes from compromises. Don’t you dare blame yourself. Just because one girl was an asshole doesn’t mean you did something wrong. Okay?”_

_“B-B-But - “_

_Kokichi surprised Shuichi by pulling the taller boy into a hug and whispering into his ear, “Shut up, you big doofus. No buts. She’s a bitch. She doesn’t matter. It’s one dance in middle school. Is it really going to affect your love life? It wasn’t going to last anyway!”_

_“Y-Y-Yeah, I g-guess you’re right…” Shuichi said quietly when Kokichi pulled away. “I-If she really wanted to go with someone else, she should have told me right away! I’m not the one in the wrong in this s-situation! ...right?”_

_Kokichi smiled encouragingly, and Shuichi felt the smallest flutter in his chest. “Right! Now! Let’s go show that coward what she’s missing!” Before Shuichi really knew what was happening, Kokichi was dragging him to the dance floor._

_Of course, right then, a slow dance came on._ Really? At middle school? _Shuichi mused._

 _Kokichi interlocked his left hand in Shuichi’s right and placed his other hand on Shuichi’s back. “Alright, now put your hands on my arms. I’ll guide you, since I know you don’t do this often.”_ _Kokichi said softly. Shuichi hesitantly followed his instructions. “I’m gonna step forwards, you gotta step back,” He mumbled._

_Kokichi did just as he’d stated and Shuichi followed. Kokichi grinned lopsidedly. Kokichi stepped to the left, Shuichi followed and they awkwardly swayed._

_Then, Kokichi lifted his arm and managed to pull Shuichi into a spin. Shuichi giggled embarrassedly and twirled._

_It wasn’t graceful, really, and it was nowhere near anything in the movies. In fact, they were stumbling every now and then, and once, when Shuichi attempted to twirl Kokichi, he very nearly dropped him._

_But honestly?_

_It was enough for them._

Shuichi cracked the smallest smile at the memory and felt his cheeks go hot. He believed that was the exact night he’d realized he’d fallen in love. 

Of course, he’d had an inkling since fifth grade, knowing that every time Kokichi so much as touched him he got flustered, but that was the first night he really admitted it to himself. It was about an hour after the dance, when he figured it out. He was in the car with his uncle and telling him about the events of the night, and suddenly, when he was recalling the dance they’d had, it clicked. He was in love with his best friend. 

Shuichi had assumed the feelings would go away as they got older. 

They… Didn’t…

In fact, they only got stronger as Shuichi became older and more aware of his feelings. He realized that every time Kokichi grabbed his hand in excitement his face went crimson, or every time Shuichi managed to make Kokichi giggle, his heart swelled in adoration, or the fact that every time Kokichi gave him a genuine smile, he smiled too. 

He’d fallen badly. For his best friend. 

He’d never expected his feelings to be requited, though. 

For the first time since the beginning of high school, Shuichi allowed himself hope that he could…

Date his best friend…

_I could hold his hand casually… And I could give him random hugs whenever I felt like it… I could lean my head on his shoulder without it being weird. I could snuggle with him without wondering if I’m being too forward. I could…_

_...kiss him…_

My cheeks burned brightly and my head felt light.

_Ki loves me… Kokichi fucking Ouma loves me._

_My best friend likes me back…_

_Wait - shit, how do I even explain -_

_‘Yeah dude, just snooped through your room, the one thing you told me not to do, and found your diary, you wanna go out now?’_

_Good going Shuichi. What are you going to do now??_

_I guess I could just… not tell him...._

_Eugh… Confessing is hard…_

_I could just… Google it…?_

_That could work I guess._

Shuichi sighed and pulled his phone out of his (front) pocket and looked it up hopefully. 

He groaned. 

_I just want to get it over with. Why are there so many steps?_

Shuichi stuffed the phone back into the pocket and took a seat on Kokichi’s large bed. 

He ever so gently stroked Kokichi’s cheek. It seemed his fever was slightly going down. Maybe it was the water. His face was soft, and he saw some of the white powder he caked on his cheeks come off onto his hand.

The powder was makeup, disguised to hide the memories of his time in the cabinet at the orphanage after his father died and his mother refused to bring him in. 

Shuichi ever-so-gently touched Kokichi’s button nose, which twitched in his sleep. _Cute,_ the detective thought fondly. 

“I… I like you, Kichi… I like you a lot. I like the way you smile, and your dumb jokes, and your silly pranks, and your gay screaming, and I - I like - I - I really care about you, okay?” Shuichi stuttered, praying internally that Kokichi wouldn’t wake up. 

Thankfully, the god seemed to smile down at Shuichi, and Kokichi seemingly stayed asleep. 

“I’d better let you sleep, eh?” He said quietly. “Goodnight. I hope you feel better in the morning so I can… Nevermind. I - I like you, Ki. Just… Yeah.” Shuichi exited the room. 

***

...Shuichi chickened out too. 


End file.
